The past ten weeks in some ways feel like a complete blur.  This post is surprisingly difficult and surprisingly emotional to write.  So, bear with me as I walk into the weeds…

Days have merged into weeks as I have waded through the weeds of educating our most vulnerable students in the time of a global pandemic.  I have been leaning into this analogy as I have done my best to keep moving forward and to lead through the twisty weeds of the past ten weeks.  Professionally, life has felt like a journey through a murky swamp filled with tricky tangley* weeds.  Every step forward has felt familiar yet at the same time terribly unknown.  On many levels I have struggled with the omnipresent feeling of the unknown... I mean like all of us in our doctoral cohort, I know schools. I understand special education. I can work with complexity. I have good relationships with our school leaders, our families and our inclusive education school teams. But the reality is that COVID-19 has changed the rules of engagement and the ‘school game’.

I have felt unsettled in many ways and I am attributing that feeling to the strong undercurrent swirling around my feet with every step forward.  This undercurrent has been fueled by the heavy emotions, reactions, anxieties and fear for our staff, students and families alike.   With every step forward I have felt the pull of this COVID-19 swamp’s undercurrent and I am acutely aware of the importance of careful navigation to avoid the potential of getting pulled into the powerful emotional undertow. Over the past eight weeks, I have had to strategically search for the steady spaces to safely support our teams forward through these weeds as we first opened up a new 7am-7pm school sites for the children of our Essential Service Workers and then moved directly into opening up our school sites for in-person instruction for over 93 students with diverse needs/disabilities. It has been a constant delicate dance, frequently with two left feet, of trying to look up and out of the weeds, while at the same time actively maneuvering through the weeds.

As I have moved through the weeds of the COVID-19 swamp, I have done my best to walk carefully and thoughtfully.  I have tried to look up, to see the blue sky, to feel the sun's warmth and to gently remind others to do the same.  Finding the silver linings, respectfully meeting people where are and celebrating the small ‘stuff’, alongside of trying to stand steady have been the roots of my day-to-day work.  I am learning that there are many silent, strong leaders in our schools who have not lost their focus on what matters most during a time of crisis.  I am inspired by so many who have pushed through the weeds and who have been able to the potential beyond the complexity.  I am realizing that it is easy to slip into the muck and sometimes it is okay to let yourself go there for a little while, but you can’t stay there.   We need to keep walking into and out of the weeds… ideally together in trusted teams leading in a time of complexity and opportunity.

*tangley - A Newfoundland term for a seedy individual.